A Doubter's Confession - Song Explanation

Welcome once and yet again to the only blog on the entire internet that answers the question, "Can one man make the same joke about his blog being the only blog to do something specifically unique on the internet each time he writes a new post?" For today, the answer seems to be a resounding "What in the world is he talking about?" That's right, folks, today I'll be explaining the one you've all been waiting for (and especially your friend Ben has been waiting for), the "hit" single from my latest album (I put "hit" here in quotation marks, distinguishing it from the classical sense of the term, as in "popular," from the sense in which I am using it, as in "I hit people over the head until they say they enjoy it..."), A Doubter's Confession. Now before I get into the lyrics and the music and the thought process and all the fun things you've come to expect from this "not my funny blog" blog, I do have a bit of a confession to make. Originally, this song wasn't called A Doubter's Confession. In fact, for the longest time, I couldn't figure out what to call it. (Though I knew I wasn't going to pull a Chris Rice and call it "Untitled Hymn" or any of that hipster nonsense... Just call it "Fly to Jesus," Chris...) But in my songwriting notebook, I left the title blank, and in the Word Document I called it "Doubts Turned to Joy" (which became the title of my album, fittingly enough), and I was tempted to just call it I Peter 1:3-9, which would not have been the "sexy" choice, per se, (though I'm sure Peter had a certain manly musk about him), but would have accurately depicted the passage from which I derived my inspiration. Eventually I settled (in a good way) on "A Doubter's Confession," because that's basically what this song is. Sometimes the best title is the one that most accurately describes the work to which it's referring. That's why my next song is going to be called "I Made This up in Five Minutes and I Hope it Makes Me Lots of Money..." But I digress, here are some lyrics for ya...

Lyrics

Well it's been two thousand years, so why is He not here?
And they say He left in an instant, but no one has seen Him since then,
And you tell me just have faith, but there are doubts I can't erase,
And you say these are short trials, but mine stretch on for miles,
And you say there's a living hope, but mine is dead and cold...
I don't think I can see it like you, oh, for me it's just not true...

Well You say I can be born again, but You don't know where I've been,
And You offer salvation, but You don't know what I've done,
And You want me to be Your child, but You can see that I'm running wild,
And You say You'll love me as Your own, but I've never had a home,
And I've told myself that You're not real, but somehow You melt my steel...
Are You really there? And do You really care? If so please hear my cry! Save my life before I die...

I fall down on my knees, I send to You my pleas,
And You can hear my voice, I can finally rejoice!

Rejoice, rejoice, you have been born again,
Rejoice, rejoice, you have found the dearest friend,
Rejoice, rejoice, you now hold a living hope,
Rejoice, rejoice, oh He has saved your soul,
Though for now life may be hard, and your eyes can't see the Lord,
In your heart is true belief, and your love for Him will lead you to greatly rejoice!

Music:  So as you could readily tell if you've followed this blog or read any of the musical explanations I've put up for all the madness going on in my music, sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing. In fact, I'd venture to say that 70% of the time if something sounds good, I don't know why or how or when, I just did it. Nowhere is this more apparent than in this song. I didn't even know what chord I was playing in the verses until Jason came home from college and used his magic wizardry to put a spell on my guitar and also just recall from his music theory class that I was switching between C and C6. (I had written down that I was switching between a C and Cmaj7, if you can imagine....) So already I had no idea what was going on, except that there is a key change (a quite simple one, from C to A), and that the key change delineates the significant switch in tone of the song. It goes from sort of a depressing and hopeless ballad to a song of praise and rejoicing and fun times had by all, which I will explain in a second, but I did consciously want there to be a clear break between those two sections, which I accomplished with a key change. That much I know, even if I have no idea what specific chords I'm playing, or if they're even chords at all...

Lyrical Explanation: So here's where it gets pretty heavy, Doc. (I was watching Back to the Future on cable yesterday, and it's still in my top ten all-time favorite movies... "Why is everything so heavy in the future, is there some sort of problem with the Earth's gravitational pull?" Classic...) I think it's safe to say we've all had doubts. Perhaps doubting ourselves, whether we're worthwhile or talented enough or good enough to do something. Perhaps doubting our faith, whether we believe the right things or should even believe in anything at all. Doubts about the future, whether anything we've set out to do will work out, or whether we even have a plan that's worth going through with. Doubts arise in every corner of our lives, whether we want them to or not.
        Now backpedaling a little bit, the first idea for this song came from a sermon Mike McQuitty (shout-out to the McQuittster) preached at BCM Fall Retreat 2014 on I Peter 1:3-9. The whole week we had been talking about suffering. Suffering brought on by circumstances, suffering brought on by persecution, suffering brought on by our own sinful, foolish mistakes, and how the ultimate suffering of Christ on the cross brought about our ultimate good. Mike had the honor of speaking the last day, sort of as a wrap-up of our "weekend of suffering," and he went to the passage in I Peter that focuses not mainly on the suffering itself, but on all the blessings we have "even though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials." (v.6) His point was that while talking about suffering and having a good Biblical perspective is important, what is far greater and outweighs all of our suffering is that we've been born again to a living hope of an inheritance that is incorruptible and undefiled, reserved in heaven for us, and a salvation that comes through faith in Christ. All of that is far greater than the light and momentary affliction we face today.
       And I totally agreed with him. And as we were driving back that day I was talking with some students about my songwriting process and how sometimes I'm inspired by my personal Bible reading, sometimes by a sermon, "perhaps like Mike's sermon today," or something along those lines, and then the idea started to form. I really like this passage, and how it focuses on the joy and rejoicing we have through all these promises God has given to us, but what if we didn't believe in these promises? What good are promises of great things to those who don't believe?
       And so I started to think of some of my own doubts I'd had throughout the years. I started thinking of the common things others doubt about the Gospel or the word of God or the like. And so the portrait of the "Doubter" in the lyrics is definitely partially me, I've struggled mightily with some of these things, especially "When is Jesus coming back? Why can't I see Him now?" But it is partially a general picture of a typical person who would have these sorts of questions. The first verse deals mainly with doubts over facts, "Why isn't Jesus here if He's alive? What about the trials I'm going through, why doesn't he help me? Why do I have to have faith in something I can't see?" While the second verse deals more with personal doubts, "Can I be good enough? Can I really belong? Is there grace enough for all the nastiness in my life?" And eventually the journey turns from accusatory to questioning to the point of putting one's faith in Christ. It's a common theme in my songs, that journey from sinful wretch to totally giving one's self to Jesus and having that saving faith by the grace of God. This particular song does it through the lens of the different doubts that keep most people from the faith. And I think the answer I wanted to give in this song is quite simple: God is greater than all those doubts. God has given us so much that we need not doubt. Through God in Christ we can constantly rejoice!
       And so that's the part that I wanted to really pop in this song, the end, which repeats on itself, becoming a praise chorus of sorts, that really does celebrate the joys of being born again, the living hope, the inheritance, the life Christ gives, that even though we do not see Him now, we believe in Him, and rejoice greatly. Just like Mike in his sermon didn't focus so much on the suffering as the joy God gave, so I didn't want my focal point to be the doubts so much as their being melted away in the presence of the surpassing joy of Christ! That's what gets me excited! And that's why that section of the song sounds so much more lively, and has that old folky jamboree feel that I go back to a lot, because that's the section that I identify with now. Sure, there are always times when I doubt. There are always times when I think "Is any of this real?" But those are always times when God Himself says "Yes, and look at all I've given you... Now rejoice greatly!" And so I do. And so for the most part this album has been, rejoicing in the face of trials, doubts, unbelief, difficulties, and every which way life turns. The goal is always that the genuineness of my "faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ." I hope that's your aim as well.

YouTube Version: Jason and I, before he went back to Kentucky, were able to record the song "live" in the living room, and put it into a very classy and sophisticated video, seen here: 

Recorded Version: Honestly, this song turned out the best on the album, and, as a side note, you can now buy the album online at this link.

http://northsidejamboree.bandcamp.com/album/doubts-turned-to-joy

You can also hear it for free on Soundcloud here.

https://soundcloud.com/justin-samuel-manry/a-doubters-confession

Conclusion: So this will probably be the last song explanation from this album, and I hope you got a sense of what it's all about, and that it's not full of heresy or meant to discourage anyone. Just trying to be real, make a few points, and encourage you to rejoice in the midst of trials and doubts. Tell me what song you'd like me to explain next, keep on keepin' on, and I'll have a funny blog out at some point soon I hope. It's been kind of busy with all the seminary stuff I've been up to. Best wishes and all that jazz! Peace out, songwriters...

 Singing off for now,
Justin Samuel Manry

The Tiger Slippers were actually quite comfortable...

 

Oh Hold Them Back - Song Explanation

         Welcome to the last installment of "Thoughts from a Smalltown Songwriter: Song Explanations" before that fateful day, this Saturday, when we'll all find out how little I've been actually practicing in favor of writing blogs trying to get people to come to my concert... But still, you should come, I think I remember how to play most of these songs, and one such song that will be prominently featured is a song I wrote rather recently, just a few short months ago, and one that reveals a little of my heart and God's direction on my life right now. But as always, more on that later. First, I want to let you know that my concert will be happening this Saturday, at precisely 2 PM, rain or shine, and there will be light refreshments available (in the form of bowls with various snack foods and a cooler full of off-brand sodas such as "Dr. Perky" and "Mountain Rush"), if it rains, we'll just move into the quite spacious basement, and it'll be just like I'm playing when nobody's even there, which is where most of these songs come from. So let's take a look at this ditty from the new album, "Oh Hold Them Back," which is in my opinion one of the more heartfelt and moving songs you'll hear... But I'll let you judge for yourselves, here are the lyrics:

Lyrics

He's stumbling toward the edge, he thinks he knows it all, or at least quite a lot,
The questions he once had, he's answered in his head, and he's his own god,
And maybe someday, when life is more than he can take, he'll lean on someone else,
But right now he's feeling swell, and there's no such thing as hell, and if there is it's just as well,
He'll get to that someday...

They're drawn toward death, oh hold them back,
They're staggering to slaughter, oh hold them back,
Like sheep without a shepherd, oh hold them back,
They wander in the desert, oh hold them back, hold them back!

She grew up in the faith, at least that's what she'd say, but the faith was never hers,
She went to Sunday School, but somewhere in all those rules, she missed His greatest treasure,
And right now she has no time, she can't have God in her life, she got enough of that back home,
And maybe someday, she'll get back in touch with her faith, and maybe she could even pray,
But not today...

They're drawn toward death, oh hold them back,
They're staggering to slaughter, oh hold them back,
Like sheep without a shepherd, oh hold them back,
They wander in the desert, oh hold them back,
They're living in rebellion, oh hold them back,
They need someone to tell them, oh hold them back,
Maybe they don't want to hear it, oh hold them back,
But we beg You Holy Spirit, please hold them back,
Hold them back, hold them back, hold them back, oooh...

Come to me, all the weary, and all the heavy laiden, and I will give you rest,
Seek my face, ask your questions, and I will be the answer, yes you can be born again,
There is hope for those in darkness, stumbling and lost, I will be the Light,
I'll hold them back from death and slaughter, the paths their lives are on, yes I will give new life,
Have compassion for your neighbor, struggling in sin, for you know what they lack,
Love them as yourself and give them every chance to turn, and you may hold them back...
Hold them back...

Music: It's kind of hard to explain my musical writing process. I knew that I wanted the song to have a weight to it. This is a heavy subject, these are real people's lives and eternal souls in the balance, and I wanted to find a musical counterpart for that, and the only way I know how is ambiguity. And by that I mean "putting a G chord into a song that's technically in A, but then the chorus has D as its base, and then there's also a bunch of minor chords in there...." I guess mostly what I did was try to make it sound sad, the way I feel when trying to get through to people who feel like they have no need for the gospel I cling to so strongly. But, as with all the songs on this album, amidst the sadness and the passion for their lostness and the pleading with them and with God, there is always hope. And so for the end I made a little progressive run of chords all the way back up to a high A, where I ended with the words of Jesus and a more happy and classic western chord progression of A-E-F#m-D. All's well that ends well, that's what I always say.

Lyrical Explanation: This song started with a moving plea from our Youth and Young Adult Pastor at North Harford Baptist Church. We were starting an initiative to invite people to our church using a new little card which was easy to give out, easy to store in a wallet, and mostly unobtrusive as a witnessing technique. Pastor Rob passionately pleaded with us to use these cards, to take them out with compassion for those around us, who had rejected the gospel of Christ, and needed the hope of salvation that only He could bring. Then he shared with us this verse from the book of Proverbs:
        
         "Deliver those who are being taken away to death,
          And those who are staggering to slaughter, Oh hold them back." 
(Proverbs 24:11, NASB)

      That really stuck with me. The passion in his message. The seriousness of the situation. The gravity of our mission to be holding back those who are drawn away towards death and slaughter. I thought about my own mission field at Towson University.
       For those of you who don't know, I've spent the past year since my graduation working as an intern for the Baptist Campus Ministry at TU. It's been great ministry experience, I love the students, love my fellow staff members, love the job. I mostly do things like update the Facebook page, meet with students weekly, lead Bible Studies, bring in the projector for our main meetings, lead the worship team, go on doughnut runs, you know, regular intern stuff. But the most challenging part for me personally has always been mandatory personal evangelism. Not because I don't think it's important, I think it's one of the most important things we do as campus ministers, but because my personality is, well, not very outgoing. I would call myself more of an introvert pretending to be an extrovert than anything else, and so it's hard for me to go up to people I don't know and just start up a conversation. Of course, I have other staff members and students often come along with me, which lessens the burden, but it's still nerve-wracking every single time for me.
       But like I said, it's important, and it leads to amazing conversations. Not all of the conversations go how you think they will, not everyone is as interested as some of the students you meet, but most will at least listen to what we have to say about what Jesus has done for us. Some conversations, like the specific ones this song is based on, last upwards of half an hour! We'll go back and forth answering questions, giving Scripture, explaining why we're here and all the things we do on campus, and more importantly Who we serve and all that He's done for us and for them. And then comes the hard part. Eventually there has to be a decision. I can't give my faith to anyone. I can only share what I know, what I believe, and Who has saved me, and trust God to work on hearts, but more often than not we walk away having planted or watered and not seeing the growth of change in these people.
      Those are the stories in this song. A young man and woman which we talked to, one of whom thought he had it all figured out, and maybe he could use God as a crutch if things went poorly, but didn't need Him now, and the other grew up hearing all these things and knew the gospel, but had no desire to commit her life to Him, at least not right now. My heart broke in a new way for these people as I realized the weight of where they were in life. God was calling them. God was using us as a reminder of the gospel. But they were content. They didn't think they needed Him. That's the hardest part of the job. More than me having an introverted personality, which I can overcome by sheer willpower, is the knowledge that these young people will walk away without a saving faith in Christ, without hope for eternity. And that really was the inspiration for this song. People need the Lord, whether they realize it or not, and it's not my job to force them to believe anything, or make them see things my way, but to present them with the gospel, and plead with them to step away from death and slaughter.
        But as always, there is hope. Jesus's invitation to come to Him is for all people, at all times, no matter how many times before they have rejected Him. He stands ready to save. Ready to take that burden. Ready to hold them back.

YouTube Version: So I recorded this a few months ago, right when we got a new piano, and when Louie was still alive, but just uploaded it today. Hope you enjoy! I'm wearing my humorous mustache shirt, so that's a plus...

Recorded Version: For the album version, I used open piano chords, soft guitar, and hit a wooden desk for percussion, and it actually doesn't sound too bad... I added some echo-y effects, and did some oohs and ahhhs, then spruced it up with a little fake violin for the end there. Take a listen in this link.

https://soundcloud.com/justin-samuel-manry/oh-hold-them-back

Conclusion: Well that's it! The last song explanation until you can buy the entire album this Saturday!!! Hope to see all your smiling faces there... Remember to tell me what song you'd like to know about, when you get your new album, you can pick a song that you'd like a full explanation of... Until then, keep on rockin, I know I will...

Singing off for now,
Justin Samuel Manry

Remember when I had a buzz cut? That was fun...

Looking Back, Looking Forth - Song Explanation

        Welcome for the third time in two weeks to this very special, very sentimental, and very transparently promotional blog series in which I, Justin Samuel Manry, tell you, whoever the dongle you are, why I wrote one of my songs, whatever they're supposed to be. I'll probably have time to do one more of these before the actual concert, which is mainly what I've been promoting through this whole thing, and which you can RSVP to on the Facebook event page here. If you can't come to the concert, that's fine, I won't hold it against you or unfriend you or take away your blog privileges or come to your house and spray paint nasty things on your vinyl siding or kidnap your dog... I don't even know why you'd bring that up, it's not like I have a long history of violent and vengeful tendencies... Anyway, if you do make it, one of the songs Jason and I will be playing from our new album will be "Looking Back, Looking Forth." I'm a big fan of putting commas in song titles because it makes them seem at least ten times more artsy, but this song is about much more than a simple comma in the middle of a title, and hopefully you'll come to know that by the end of this blog. But first, as always, you need some tasty lyrics:

Lyrics:

I was only eight years old, I ate the bread and drank the cup,
I was no great theologian, But I knew enough,
There was a man who came from heaven. Well He was much more than a man,
Through His death I was forgiven, And in His life I now could stand,
I heard about Him in Sunday School, And my parents taught me too,
Then one night I confessed my sins, Told Him what He already knew,
And as I took that first communion, There's no way I could've known,
All the ways my Lord would use me, It is through Him that I have grown..
Chorus:
Looking back, looking forth,
See what the bread and cup are worth,
They tell the story of the Holy Lamb of God,
Until He comes back to this Earth,
We're looking back, looking forth,
We're looking back, we're looking forth,

He was thirty-three years old, He took the bread and cup,
Said "Have a taste of my broken body, And a drink of priceless blood,
Later tonight you will betray Me, You'll fall asleep then fall away,
But all these sins I can forgive you, Through the price I'm gonna pay,
You've heard about this man named Moses, And the sacrificial lamb,
They were never enough to save you, But I'm telling you I AM,"
And as they took that first communion, Even then I think He knew,
Someday a broken wretch named Justin, Would fall to his knees and turn to You!
Repeat Chorus
Halle-hallelujah, Halle-hallelujah, Halle-hallelujah, Halle-hallelujah!
Take the bread, drink the cup, remember your first love,
On this journey to death from birth, we're looking back, we're looking forth!

Music: So this is one of those songs that I had the basic idea for the lyrics brewing for several months, and all I needed was a set of chords that could pair nicely with it. With that in mind, I sat down at the piano and started playing a little ditty in the key of E. I chose E because I have a harmonica in the key of E, and I thought I was going to add some harmonica to spice up this song, which incidentally I didn't end up doing, but that was my starting point. So the verses are a pretty common progression, E-F#m-A-B, but with the "B" I hit a weird note which sort of "walks it up" back to E, and in all honesty I'm not sure if it's right or not, but it sounded pretty good. Then for the chorus the B "walks back down" to A, which is the base for each new line, with B becoming a bridge to either the E or C#m chord. At least I think that's what I was doing, I really never can tell when it comes to these things. Then to end the song, I went back to a tried and true method of "playing really fast on the piano" to bring it home. That's actually my favorite piano rhythm, as I've used it in "God, Who Cannot Lie," "One, Two, Eyes on You!" and many many more. All in all, it was a song born on the piano, in the key of E, nothing too groundbreaking, mostly Western Pop Major chord progressions.

Lyrical Explanation: What I really had in mind while writing this song, more importantly than the music, was the need for me to write a communion song. Every good Christian band has a song about communion. Downhere has "Remember Me," Smalltown Poets have "Trust," Big Daddy Weave has "Big Daddy, Big Communion," and the list goes on and on. And so I started to think what would make a great Communion song, and Communion has always been something very personal for me. Especially with the way our church does it, having the Deacons come to your pew, give you the little wafer or the little cup, then everyone eats and drinks together, which is pretty neat, and since I sit near the front, being a pastor's son, I always get mine and then have like five minutes to just meditate on what it means, thank God for sending His One and Only Son to die for me, try not to let my mind wander to what I'm eating for lunch. Communion has always been a time of thinking, praying, and spending time thanking God, so I wanted to make the song very personal. As a fun trivia fact, this is the first and probably only time I have or will put my own name, "Justin," into the lyrics of a song. Can't get much more personal-er than that...
       The other thing I appreciate about Communion is that it has this double meaning. For Jesus and His Disciples, it was a part of the Passover meal, which reminded the people of Israel of the great things God had done for them in bringing them up out of Egypt with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, sparing them from the 10th plague if they had the blood of the lamb on their doorpost. Then Jesus gave that part of the meal a new meaning, telling them that the bread was His body, the cup was His blood, and that they should as often as they eat and drink it remember Him and proclaim His name. Then on top of that, He told them that He would eat and drink this meal with them again, once He returned and established His kingdom. And so Communion has always been looking back at something God has already done, and looking forward (i.e. forth) to something He was going to do. Before Jesus's death and resurrection, the Passover meal looked back to the deliverance of God's people from slavery in Egypt, and looked forward to a greater deliverance from all sin and death with the sacrifice of the Holy Lamb of God, Jesus. Now Communion looks back to that deliverance, and looks forward to the return of Christ, when we will be able to eat of it with Him. Those sorts of double meanings have always fascinated me, how God has crafted the story of this world throughout Scripture, and continues to be a part of telling the story of our lives.
         So with those two things in mind: my personal testimony, and the awesome meaning behind communion, I crafted the verses and chorus of this, which was to be my "Communion Masterpiece" which would solidify my band in the upper echelon of Contemporary Christian bands. I don't know if it exactly rose to that height, but I did enjoy telling the story of me as an eight year old, taking Communion for the first time after being Baptized, sort of realizing what it meant, but only growing from there in my faith and knowledge of Christ. Then I compared that to Christ actually taking the very first Communion in history, giving new meaning to the Passover meal, and predicting His own death to His Disciples. How amazing that must have been. And now we take the bread and cup, remembering what they symbolize, Who they represent, and reminding ourselves of our first love: Jesus Christ.
        As a quick side note, I did make a conscious decision to use the word "cup" instead of the word "wine," not because I'm in denial that Jesus drank wine or that I think if He'd had access to some delicious Welch's He would have used that instead, but mainly for rhyming purposes. I realize different Christians have different convictions about alcohol, and that's not really a debate I want to get myself into, but I figure whatever's in the cup, we can agree that it pictures for us the greatness of the mercy and grace of Christ's shed blood for our sins. Also, you can make all sorts of words sound like they rhyme with "cup," whereas there are only so many times you can sing about how "fine" it was to "dine" in a "line" with some "wine..."

YouTube Version: So this is the first video I uploaded after Jason went to college, which means I was just finding my bearings as a solo act, so don't judge me too harshly. But I think it was pretty all right.

Recorded Version: For the album version, I tried to keep it fairly simple. A little piano, a little guitar, fade in the drum set and tambourine, some bass, but that's about it. Nothing fancy, nothing flashy, just a classy little ditty you can listen to right here.

https://soundcloud.com/justin-samuel-manry/looking-back-looking-forth

Conclusion: What should you take from all this? Well, first, come to my concert THIS SATURDAY for more great music like this. Second, BUY MY NEW ALBUM for ten songs just as good if not better than this one. Third, when you take Communion for yourself, remember all the great things God has done for you. And fourth, tell me what songs you'd like me to explain and which part of the songwriting process you'd like to hear more about. And fifth, don't fall in any holes, because Lassie is not going to come find you again, Timmy...

Singing off for now,
Justin Samuel Manry

Just, you know, playin....

Oh Yes He Did! - Song Explanation

       I know what you're thinking... "Two song explanations in one week?! He must be trying to sell us something..." And, to be frank, you're right. I am trying to sell you something. It's a little something I like to call "true happiness mixed with total euphoria," and it comes from purchasing and listening to my new album, "Doubts Turned to Joy," which will be hitting shelves all over Jarrettsville at my concert on June 20th at 2 PM Eastern Time. Now a lot of hypothetical people have been asking me: "Justin, after the success of your last album, and your meteoric rise to mediocre fame, how do you plan to top it with this album? And just what is the point of the title 'Doubts Turned to Joy?' And why haven't you given me back that twenty dollars I lent you? It's been two months!!" And to them I say: First, be patient, I'll have your money just as soon as I get back the money I invested in that pyramid scheme a few days ago, turns out you DON'T want to be on the bottom of the pyramid. Second, I really like the way this album is turning out, I've worked fairly hard on it, harder than I worked on most of my college classes, and it should be the best complete album I've done yet. And third, the song I'll be reviewing today will give you a better understanding of the theme and title of this album, "Doubts Turned to Joy," because it talks about something that can become a big stumbling block and a source of doubt to Christians, but actually ends up being the very cornerstone of our faith and the reason we can rejoice and have great joy! But more on that in a minute, as always, here are those juicy lyrics!

Lyrics:

If Jesus didn't rise from the grave,
If in that cold dark tomb He stayed,
Then my faith is in vain,
Why am I calling upon a dead name?
If He didn't rise from the grave.

And if He didn't die for my sin,
And then three days later rise again,
Then go ahead and pass me a drink,
'Cause when I die I'm just gonna sit in the ground and stink,
If He didn't rise from the dead...

Oh but He did, and it's a graceful mystery, 
Why He gave His life for me,
And rose to give eternity,
He was the first fruits for you and me,
Oh yes He did!

If it's all just a fairy tale,
If He didn't tear apart that veil,
Then I'm still stuck in my sins,
I'd be too defiled to enter in,
If He didn't tear up that old veil...

Oh but He did, He made a way for me,
To approach the throne boldly,
Became my High Priest,
The perfect go between,
Oh yes He did!

And if He didn't live the perfect life,
If He wasn't a holy sacrifice,
Then in myself I would boast,
I would still be offering up my sheep and my goats,
If He wasn't the holy sacrifice,

Oh but He was, He was the great I Am,
Became the sacrificial lamb,
And welcomed me into His fam,
That's short for family, people...
Oh yes He did!

He was born of a virgin,
He lived a sinless life,
Proved Himself with miracles,
Became our sacrifice,
Oh how He died,
Well He spent three days in the grave,
But that's not where He stayed,
So don't pity me, 'cause I'm saved...
He rose again!

Music: So some of my songs take influence from one place or another. Some I think I made up, but are actually "Free Falling" by Tom Petty. And then there's this song, which is basically a bunch of Fleetwood Mac songs stuck together with my voice instead of Stevie Nicks... So I took the piano part from "Don't Stop," the guitar part from "Say You Love Me," and the general feel from every other popular Fleetwood Mac song, and then figured out how to play it all on the piano. Well, not exactly, but it was pretty close... I do a breakdown which makes things interesting, and there are some flairs and whatnot, but overall it's just a really simple, fun, song in the key of D. And sometimes, I just need to write a simple, fun song in the key of D that slightly rips off Fleetwood Mac but also has my signature whit and folk rock roots. So sue me. Actually, I hope they don't sue me... I'm not worth very much...

Lyrical Explanation: The main focus of this song is what the main thrust of my album is about. How can we work through all the doubts that come up in life and in the Christian walk yet still have the joy and confidence of Christ in our hearts? Interestingly enough, the Apostle Paul dealt with just that in His first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 15:
      
       "For if the dead do not rise, then Christ is not risen, and if Christ is not risen, your faith is futile, you are still in your sins! Then also those who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men the most pitiable...If the dead do not rise 'Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we die!'"

   Now that's a pretty big doubt. What if the Resurrection never really happened? What if the very thing we base our faith on was a lie? Well, logically, all the hope we have because of it would be gone. No eternal life. No forgiveness of sins. No cause for joy or rejoicing. Only a wasted life believing in a fairy tale. If Christ didn't rise from the dead, we and all who believe in Him are to be pitied. We shouldn't be looked to as examples. If this is all false, then we just gave our whole lives to a lie, which is not an enviable position, no matter what Pascal's Wager says.
     So that's the "Doubts" side of my album. What if none of this really happened? What if I've done too much wrong? What if I can't save people headed for hell and damnation? And those are important questions. But just as Paul doesn't leave us hanging on those questions, I certainly won't. In the very next sentence he says, under the direction of the Holy Spirit:

     "But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the first-fruits of those who have fallen asleep."

     And this is where the "Joy" portion of the album kicks in. You see, for every doubt I've ever had, for every shortcoming I've felt, for every heartache I've ever endured, Christ both shows the answer and is the answer. The Apostle Paul, who would know a thing or two about this having seen with his own eyes the risen Christ, dismissed all thoughts of there not being a resurrection by telling us that Christ indeed rose from the dead, and that we'll be next if we believe in Him, put our faith and hope in Him. And so I don't leave this song or hopefully any of the songs on the album with a sense of lingering doubt, but confidence and joy that Christ has risen, that He's coming again, that we have a living hope in Him, that we have life eternal and anew in Him, that He is the one drawing all people to Himself, that He can forgive the worst of sinners, even me...
     Did Jesus really rise from the dead? You bet your sweet bippy. Did He do all things necessary, fulfill all the prophecy, and become our Messiah, Savior, and Lord? You better believe it. And did He tell us He's coming again, and give us hope for a life and a future? Oh yes He did!

Recorded Version: No YouTube clip this week, it was too hot to handle, but here's the track straight offa' the new album. It's got that classic Jamboree feel with a new vocal recording technique that makes it sound a little old school... Here's the link!

https://soundcloud.com/justin-samuel-manry/oh-yes-he-did

Conclusion: So anyway, hope you don't mind me doing two of these in one week. It's been pretty fun and exciting for me, I hope you feel the same way. Again, come to my concert, it just won't be the same without all your smiling faces to cheer me on... Tell me what you'd like me to explain, and let me know if anything offended you so I can be more politically correct, just like Jerry Seinfeld...

Singing off for now,
Justin Samuel Manry

I definitely need some Dulcalax...

Beautiful Feet - Song Explanation

     Welcome yet again to the only blog on the internet that has ever existed... Except for all those other blogs... But none of them can compare to the elegance, the urbane nature, the floccinaucinihilipilification, the random usage of Dictionary.com's "Words of the Day," that this very blog brings to your eyeballs on a semi-weekly basis. This week should be no different, and in fact, it's one of the more exciting installments of the Song Explanation series, because I'll be explaining a brand new, never before heard (at least to those outside my church), song that will appear on my brand new album, "Beautiful Feet." Now again, the album comes out next Saturday at my house at my concert for Cambodia, and I'll be signing copies and it'll be super fun, but I thought I'd give you all a special sneak peak at some of the highlights from the album, and the first selection is actually a song I wrote about my experiences in Cambodia, but more on that later... First, here come the lyrics!

Beautiful Feet

Covered in mud, from walkin' down dirty trails,
Not too attractive, 'cause they're missin' just a few nails,
That mud is caked on, and crackin' with a layer underneath,
My beautiful feet, beautiful feet, my beautiful feet!

Bitten and blistered, from the bugs and the sun,
And you know I tried to fight it, but the stench it must've won,
They're beat up, and bloodied, they're quite a sight to see,
These beautiful feet, beautiful feet, my beautiful feet!

Careful little feet wherever you go,
Be spreading His gospel from shore to shore,
Never lose focus on your main goal,
'Cause that's what makes you beautiful...

The moral of this story, I'd like you all to see,
Your feet may be dirty, but Jesus can wash them clean,
They may be wretched, unsightly, and borderline diseased,
But if they carry the good news all the senses will be pleased,
On mission, effective, those puppies prove to be,
Some beautiful feet, my beautiful feet, beautiful feet!!!

Music: So, full disclosure, I got on a Randy Newman kick. It all started when I saw a hilarious video along the lines of "What if Randy Newman sang 'Let it Go' from Frozen?" (And to be honest, I think it would've made the movie at least twenty times more enjoyable for me personally.) And that got me started down a path of listening to Randy Newman interviews and re-watching Toy Story and realizing that "Short People" was his only real hit, and it was about having a phobia of little people, and he was just a pretty strange guy... But out of all that, I figured out how to play 7th chords on the piano, and that signature rhythmical style that Randy Newman pretty much perfected, and I thought to myself, "I have to make a song out of this..." And so I started fiddling around with the D7 and the G7, and it mostly came together in a straight blues progression with a little walk down and then hanging out on that D7 for "Beautiful Feet." As far as the piano solo in between verses, that was me trying to figure out how to play "You've Got a Cold" by 10cc, utterly failing, but keeping my own little ditty for my own little song. The rest is pretty standard, I fade in the drums and rhythm guitar for the recorded version, and use a lot of grunts and "huhs" to make it sound like I'm really rockin'...

Lyrical Explanation: So like I said, this song was born out of my experiences in Cambodia, and I actually started writing it (at least in my head) while we were still over there. You see, in their culture, it's customary to take off your shoes when going into a home, church, school, etc. and so it is far easier and prudent to wear flip flops, which are easily removable and comfortable for walking. The only problem, of course, is that in the villages there aren't many paved roads, which makes for a lot of dirt, and when it rains (which it does often during the rainy season for some reason), mud. And where there is mud, vans get stuck in the mud. And when you're one of a handful of guys on the trip, and the van is stuck in the mud, you get out and push the van. And when you get out and push the van that's stuck in the mud with nothing but flip flops, your feet (and the rest of you, really), get muddy, nasty, and honestly not very attractive. And it was at that moment, when my feet were at the lowest point possible (I mean, even people with foot fetishes would have been repulsed by them), the verse in Romans 10 came to my mind, "And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: 'How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, who bring good tidings of great things!"
      I, along with the team of believers from all walks of life, had been sent to the people of Cambodia to preach the good news, the gospel of peace, the message of hope that can save them from the darkness of sin and death! And no matter how dirty and nasty and sweaty and unkempt I became, God was using me to fulfill His mission to the Cambodian people. When my feet were at their lowest point in terms of Earthly beauty, God was making them heavenly messengers of His love, His power, and His grace.
       The other time I saw this very clearly was when I was invited to preach to the local Cambodian church (through a translator, of course, I haven't been blessed with the gift of tongues up to this point in my life). But of course, we had to take our shoes off to go in the building, and so I preached my very first sermon in a Cambodian church, barefoot, talking about the love of God the father as shown through Jesus's parable of the Prodigal Son. My feet were sweaty and nervous and sticking to the tile floor, but again, God was using me to bring His message that He was waiting for all people to turn to Him, to repent, and He would welcome them with open arms. They had rebelled against Him, but He was waiting to forgive, and to take them back into His family.
       All throughout the trip I saw my feet get dirty and itchy and bitten and calloused and nasty, and all throughout the trip I kept being reminded, "These are beautiful feet in the hands of God my Savior..." And so I started putting down some of the words to this song, and when I got back I finished getting it together, and now I share it with you. Hopefully you can hear the passion I have, and the reason I want to go back and share again the love God has for the children, the youth, the adults, and all the people of Cambodia. Jesus is able to wash all of them completely clean.

YouTube Version: I wrote this while Jason was away at college, so the video is just of me, and I think I messed up the verses somehow, but you can still enjoy!

Recorded Version: So here it is, fresh off the presses, and it'll appear on our brand-spankin' new album when that's finished.. Here's the link!

https://soundcloud.com/justin-samuel-manry/beautiful-feet

Conclusion: So anyway, don't forget to come to my concert next Saturday, June 20th, at 2 PM, and I'll most likely play this song live! Complete with many grunts, and perhaps a longer piano solo lasting several hours... I'll be putting up a few more highlights from the new album in the coming weeks, so be on the lookout, suggest a song for me to explain, and keep on rockin'... You never know when rock and roll will save your life...

Singing off for now,
Justin Samuel Manry

Fanny Packs rock!

Same Clothes, New Heart - Song Explanation

         Welcome to this latest installment of the legendary, sensational, expectation-shattering, confrontational, incendiary, unapologetic look into the process, from inception to post-production, of creating one of these little tiny babies I like to call my songs. Before I get into all that, though, a quick, semi-interesting announcement: After this week, all the song explanations for the next several weeks until my concert will be from my BRAND SPANKIN' NEW ALBUM, affectionately titled "Doubts Turned to Joy." (My working title, of course, was "A New Spankin'" but for some reason I decided against it...) So again, the concert will be June 20, and the next couple of weeks you'll get some sneak peaks in the form of YouTube videos, Soundcloud recordings, and of course, these clever and insightful blog posts about the process of writing and recording this new album. Which brings me to the song for today, which is actually another from my very first album, back when I was recording on a crude phonograph machine onto little 45's, which accounts for the fact that it sounds like there's a chorus of cats constantly hissing in the background... But despite it's humble beginnings, and the lack of recording prowess I had back then, I'm actually pretty proud of this song... I'd call it one of my personal favorites, but of course I'm not allowed to have favorites, as these songs are all my babies... Anyhow, go ahead and check these lyrics!

Lyrics:

Times for me had grown so dark, 
I heard the call to change my heart,
Thought, "Hey that won't be so tough,"
I'll say a prayer and walk an aisle,
And put on a superficial smile,
And that should be enough,"
So I put on a brand new shirt,
But underneath there was still such dirt,
I hoped maybe it would go away,
I changed my pants, my shoes, my socks,
Bought a brand new pair of Crocs,
But my condition stayed the same,
Then a voice so still and small,
Said "Son the message of my call,
Is not in how your clothes arrange,
In spite of what you may believe,
Your heart's not really on your sleeve,
And I alone can make you change..."

He said "If you turn, if you turn to Me,
In true repentance, bowing at my feet,
How merciful, and gracious I can be, you will see,
But if you go on putting on this show,
And hide your heart behind your change of clothes,
Do you think the God Who sees all will not know? I will know...

He said "You've gotta change, you've gotta change your heart... (Repeats)
Your wardrobe cannot hide,
The sin you have inside,
Return to Him this day,
And let Him make that change,

So I'll look past, this surface that's not real,
Into the cold, dark heart Your word reveals,
I'll turn to You, and at Your throne I'll kneel, Lord please heal...

Lord please change, Lord please change my heart... (Repeats)
My wardrobe cannot hide,
The sin I have inside,
I return to You this day,
Lord please make me change!

So in humility I pray, I try to take it day by day, knowing this is just the start,
In this world appearance rules, but I think that stuff's just for fools,
'Cause only God can change your heart....

Music: I remember sitting down at the piano, looking for a new sound for a new song, and figuring out to play an A2 chord. I liked the sound of it so much that I started playing it over and over, and the story goes that my thumb slipped and accidentally hit the F below A, and thought to myself, "Well now, that sounds interesting..." And the rest, as they say, was me figuring out how to combine that sound with the other half of the song, which is very much influenced by the song "Living the Dream" by DownHere, at least in the way I play the piano chords. So basically I combined two songs, gave you a little taste of the second half with the little prelude at the beginning, and it was mostly just figuring out how much of everything I wanted in there, a lot of which was completed on my Aunt Tina's piano in Florida, except when Uncle Gene was taking a nap in the Ballroom...

Lyrical Explanation: So this song, as so many great ones do, started with a sermon from the Message Bible. Actually, it wasn't the greatest sermon I ever heard, (nor is The Message Bible the best for expository preaching, but that is another subject for another day), but it was out of the book of Joel chapter 2, and included this verse that really stuck with me, verse 13, which says (in the good ol' NKJV): 

"So rend your heart, and not your garments; 
Return to the LORD your God, 
For He is gracious and merciful,
Slow to anger, and of great kindness;
And He relents from doing harm."

      I'm pretty sure the message version was something more like "Bro, like, totally, like, give your heart to God and stuff, you know, not just, like, your Abercrombie jeans, or whatever... Peace out, dude..." But the idea was the same, even during the time of the prophet Joel, the people had a problem with superficiality. They were outwardly turning to God, putting on a show, giving their best on the surface while not giving their whole hearts to Him alone. God is imploring His people to turn back to Him with their whole hearts, and He would show them how merciful and gracious He truly is. But it couldn't be just a superficial, on the surface change, it had to be a "rending of the heart," not just a change of clothes.
     I thought of how very similar we are. "Yeah, sure, I'll change, I'll repent and follow Christ, what do I have to do? Walk down the aisle? Say the right combination of words? Go to church every Sunday? No problem..." But there is a problem. All those things can be good. We can say some meaningful words to God in prayer and truly believe them and mean them and He is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We can walk to the front of the church and let everyone know we have believed in Christ and let them celebrate with us. We can go to church and learn under a pastor who takes the time to study the Word of God and bring faithful teaching every week, and fellowship with the people of God. But if that's all we're doing, if there's no real change that comes along with it, then we've just put on some new clothes, we've just covered ourselves up with a new shirt and new pants and maybe even some Crocs, (who are not a sponsor, by the way), without any of the filth underneath changing even one bit.
     So I guess that's why I wrote this song. Because the Word of God made me think, "Am I being merely superficial in my faith? Is all this a show for everyone else, while I personally don't even care? Or is it real? Do I actually live out what I say I believe while also experiencing a true relationship with Christ that changes my attitude, my heart, and my entire life? I would hope that for every one of you reading this that it's the latter. That you've given your heart to Christ, and not just your outward appearance. Life is too short to try and play games, to make yourself out to be better than you are, and to cheat yourself out of a truly new and amazing life with Christ.

YouTube Version: This actually got mildly popular when a couple people shared it on Facebook, and it was one of our first songs where we used an actual decent microphone, the Blue Snowball. So it turned out pretty above average I'd say... Take a look!

Recorded Version: Like I said, this was our first album, Jason and I, and I especially had no idea what I was doing, so it sounds a little off, the drums are too loud, the background noise is off the chain, but you can at least hear what we were going for, hopefully... Here's the link!

https://soundcloud.com/justin-samuel-manry/same-clothes-new-heart

Conclusion: The conclusion is, as it often is, inspiration can come from anywhere, even The Message Bible! What a novel idea... Again, these next few weeks I'll be explaining some songs from my new album, getting you all hyped for it's release date, June 20, when I'll see you all on my back porch listening to it all go down live... Until then, tell me what you'd like to hear, what you like or don't like about this series, and what if anything I should eat for a midnight snack tonight... I'm thinking Cheez-Its...

Singing off for now,
Justin Samuel Manry

So eager...

Dead But Alive - Song Explanation

         Welcome back, music enthusiasts, to the only blog on the internet that gives you the raw, unadulterated, messy, intense, and often too-hot-to-handle stories behind the songs that I write, because I'm the only blogger on the internet that can look into my own mind and tell you those stories... (Which, coincidentally, is a good thing... Nobody needs to see that I'm thinking about a chocolate-banana milkshake right now...or basically all the time...) This week I'll be diving into a song with a longer history than you may realize, or really care to know, or even have the time to read about. But I'm going to tell you anyway, because that's how all my blogs work... You didn't ask for it, so here you go... Anyways, the song to which I'm referring actually comes from my first album which Jason and I recorded in the basement using mostly my on board laptop microphone and my Dad's microphone when he wasn't using it at church, and this is actually the song that turned out the absolute best out of all those experiments: Dead But Alive. But the story behind the song goes way back before those days in the basement trying to figure out how to record an album, back to a time where Dinosaurs roamed the big ol' bin full of dinosaur toys in our attic... But more on that later, here are the lyrics...

Lyrics:

I was born into slavery,
My birthright was my bondage to my sin,
Every time I tried so hard to climb out,
My old master would bring me down again,
I tried all the remedies man gave me,
There's so many ways up the mountain so they say,
But each road that I took just sunk me deeper,
It seemed death was my only escape...

(Chorus)
So I died to my sin,
And I was made alive with Christ,
I died to my sin,
And death lost its sting,
'Cause when I died to my sin,
I obtained eternal life,
And now I'm a servant the king...

So with Christ I've been buried,
And just like Him I've been raised,
I walk in a brand new life of freedom,
Emancipated only by His grace,
So when that old Devil tries to claim me,
And tells me that I still should be his slave,
I can just invite him to my funeral,
I've walked away a free man from that grave...

(Repeat Chorus)

Music: So like many of my songwriting endeavors, this one begins with an afternoon of mowing the lawn. Some people have their best thoughts on the toilet, I have my best thoughts on every aspect of life (including the toilet) whilst pushing a mower back and forth endlessly over a field of tall grass. I don't know what it is, but somehow I'm transported to a place where everything is so much clearer, my decisions become final and binding, and my creativity goes through the roof. I've thought up my best jokes, my funniest skit ideas, and some of the greatest (and worst) songs I've ever written while trying to get that last corner of the yard to look good. This song was no different, though it started as a totally different thing all-together. The original bright idea came when I was thinking about Facebook, and how you could write on people's walls, and how "rad" and "tight" (those were actual words I would have used at that time in my life) it would be to write a song about writing on the wall, and relating to my generation while making a point about life and stuff... I was very philosophical at the age of 15ish. So I used the only chords I knew at that point: G, C, D, Am, and Em, and started a song. It ended up actually not sounding that bad, with a little folk flavor, and with more time and perspective, I realized the lyrics were stupid, but the song itself musically was pretty good. For the album version I used plastic spoons to get some of the percussion, which I thought was pretty groundbreaking at the time, and added the harmonica which became a staple of my style (if you can call it a style) back then. So it was a simple but solid little folk song, but the problem was I had written it about Facebook, so, I needed some better lyrics...

Lyrical Explanation: This was where perspective helped a lot. If I had become extremely famous and rich for my music back when I was 15 or 16, I'd be singing songs about writing on people's Facebook walls, taking a walk on a ray of sunshine in the woods, and asking the very philosophical question "How can I smell my pants on a Monday morning...?" (The answer, coincidentally, is and always has been "with my nose...") But I thankfully did not get rich and famous with my music right away, and had time to think to myself: "Hey, this song about writing on walls is rather stupid, maybe I should change it so it's not completely dumb." And so "Dead But Alive" was born. Now granted, I didn't have enough perspective yet to realize that taking "Dead or Alive" and changing the conjunction in between did not a clever and groundbreaking song title make, but again, I was young and foolish. I did however take my inspiration this time not from Facebook (or any social media for that matter), but from Scripture. This would be a common theme for my songwriting career, basing my lyrics not on my feelings or a cleverness of my own, but from the Authoritative Word of God, which is much better than what I can come up with whilst mowing the lawn.
      So I went straight to Romans chapter 6, which has always fascinated me. The dichotomy (which I'm not even sure if I'm using correctly by the way) of being dead to sin, yet alive in Christ; dead and buried with Christ, yet also raised to new life with Him. To become truly alive we must die. This was and still is fascinating to me. In a sense, we're all dead in our trespasses and sins, and yet to get out of that death we have to die to it, in order to truly become alive. This is the message of the gospel, that the ultimate death brought ultimate life, that Jesus made a way for our dead selves to have new life in Him. And then there's the image of slavery. That we were all born slaves to sin, and so we have to die in order to be released from that bondage, that weight, and that death brings us release from the slavery of sin, and then our new life gives us a new master who is greater than sin and death, God. It's amazing, how God's plan works and keeps working and gives us so much grace that we never deserved in such an amazing way. So maybe this song oversimplifies that great mystery, but hopefully it shows just how joyful I was to know it, and to know my King Jesus had overcome the grave and made me dead to sin and alive in Christ. Hopefully I'll continue to grow in that knowledge and keep writing songs that reflect His glory and majesty. Or maybe I'll give up and start writing songs like "Tweet for Jesus..."

YouTube Version: Now before you go judging, yes, Jason has a mustache here, and yes, I'm wearing my 'Merica t-shirt, and yes, this is recorded with a terrible microphone and webcam... And actually, there really aren't any redeeming qualities about it, but you can still enjoy watching... It's basically a piece of history now...

Recorded Version: Here's the link to the version we recorded for our very first album, which again was done fairly primitively, in a cave with clubs and such... But for real, it was probably the best sounding song from that album, and I used plastic spoons for percussion! So original! Here's the link.

https://soundcloud.com/justin-samuel-manry/dead-but-alive

Conclusion: So here's the deal, if you're a young songwriter out there, start mowing the lawn! But then when you get inside, don't just trust any idea you had out there, make sure it's not stupid first... No, for real, keep writing, keep growing, and you'll make some incredible stuff that reflects the creativeness you have from your Creator. And feel free to give me some of the royalties when you get rich and famous...
      So what song would you like me to do next time? What song would you like me NOT to do? Oh, and I almost forgot, my concert is almost definitely going to be June 20, at my house, admission is free and you can get my new album "Doubts Turned to Joy" for a special introductory price of however much you want to donate to my trip to Cambodia! Hooray!
     Peace out, party people.

Singing off for now,
Justin Samuel Manry

We almost certainly didn't follow this sign....