Lyrics
Well it's been two thousand years, so why is He not here?
And they say He left in an instant, but no one has seen Him since then,
And you tell me just have faith, but there are doubts I can't erase,
And you say these are short trials, but mine stretch on for miles,
And you say there's a living hope, but mine is dead and cold...
I don't think I can see it like you, oh, for me it's just not true...
Well You say I can be born again, but You don't know where I've been,
And You offer salvation, but You don't know what I've done,
And You want me to be Your child, but You can see that I'm running wild,
And You say You'll love me as Your own, but I've never had a home,
And I've told myself that You're not real, but somehow You melt my steel...
Are You really there? And do You really care? If so please hear my cry! Save my life before I die...
I fall down on my knees, I send to You my pleas,
And You can hear my voice, I can finally rejoice!
Rejoice, rejoice, you have been born again,
Rejoice, rejoice, you have found the dearest friend,
Rejoice, rejoice, you now hold a living hope,
Rejoice, rejoice, oh He has saved your soul,
Though for now life may be hard, and your eyes can't see the Lord,
In your heart is true belief, and your love for Him will lead you to greatly rejoice!
Music: So as you could readily tell if you've followed this blog or read any of the musical explanations I've put up for all the madness going on in my music, sometimes I have no idea what I'm doing. In fact, I'd venture to say that 70% of the time if something sounds good, I don't know why or how or when, I just did it. Nowhere is this more apparent than in this song. I didn't even know what chord I was playing in the verses until Jason came home from college and used his magic wizardry to put a spell on my guitar and also just recall from his music theory class that I was switching between C and C6. (I had written down that I was switching between a C and Cmaj7, if you can imagine....) So already I had no idea what was going on, except that there is a key change (a quite simple one, from C to A), and that the key change delineates the significant switch in tone of the song. It goes from sort of a depressing and hopeless ballad to a song of praise and rejoicing and fun times had by all, which I will explain in a second, but I did consciously want there to be a clear break between those two sections, which I accomplished with a key change. That much I know, even if I have no idea what specific chords I'm playing, or if they're even chords at all...
Lyrical Explanation: So here's where it gets pretty heavy, Doc. (I was watching Back to the Future on cable yesterday, and it's still in my top ten all-time favorite movies... "Why is everything so heavy in the future, is there some sort of problem with the Earth's gravitational pull?" Classic...) I think it's safe to say we've all had doubts. Perhaps doubting ourselves, whether we're worthwhile or talented enough or good enough to do something. Perhaps doubting our faith, whether we believe the right things or should even believe in anything at all. Doubts about the future, whether anything we've set out to do will work out, or whether we even have a plan that's worth going through with. Doubts arise in every corner of our lives, whether we want them to or not.
Now backpedaling a little bit, the first idea for this song came from a sermon Mike McQuitty (shout-out to the McQuittster) preached at BCM Fall Retreat 2014 on I Peter 1:3-9. The whole week we had been talking about suffering. Suffering brought on by circumstances, suffering brought on by persecution, suffering brought on by our own sinful, foolish mistakes, and how the ultimate suffering of Christ on the cross brought about our ultimate good. Mike had the honor of speaking the last day, sort of as a wrap-up of our "weekend of suffering," and he went to the passage in I Peter that focuses not mainly on the suffering itself, but on all the blessings we have "even though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials." (v.6) His point was that while talking about suffering and having a good Biblical perspective is important, what is far greater and outweighs all of our suffering is that we've been born again to a living hope of an inheritance that is incorruptible and undefiled, reserved in heaven for us, and a salvation that comes through faith in Christ. All of that is far greater than the light and momentary affliction we face today.
And I totally agreed with him. And as we were driving back that day I was talking with some students about my songwriting process and how sometimes I'm inspired by my personal Bible reading, sometimes by a sermon, "perhaps like Mike's sermon today," or something along those lines, and then the idea started to form. I really like this passage, and how it focuses on the joy and rejoicing we have through all these promises God has given to us, but what if we didn't believe in these promises? What good are promises of great things to those who don't believe?
And so I started to think of some of my own doubts I'd had throughout the years. I started thinking of the common things others doubt about the Gospel or the word of God or the like. And so the portrait of the "Doubter" in the lyrics is definitely partially me, I've struggled mightily with some of these things, especially "When is Jesus coming back? Why can't I see Him now?" But it is partially a general picture of a typical person who would have these sorts of questions. The first verse deals mainly with doubts over facts, "Why isn't Jesus here if He's alive? What about the trials I'm going through, why doesn't he help me? Why do I have to have faith in something I can't see?" While the second verse deals more with personal doubts, "Can I be good enough? Can I really belong? Is there grace enough for all the nastiness in my life?" And eventually the journey turns from accusatory to questioning to the point of putting one's faith in Christ. It's a common theme in my songs, that journey from sinful wretch to totally giving one's self to Jesus and having that saving faith by the grace of God. This particular song does it through the lens of the different doubts that keep most people from the faith. And I think the answer I wanted to give in this song is quite simple: God is greater than all those doubts. God has given us so much that we need not doubt. Through God in Christ we can constantly rejoice!
And so that's the part that I wanted to really pop in this song, the end, which repeats on itself, becoming a praise chorus of sorts, that really does celebrate the joys of being born again, the living hope, the inheritance, the life Christ gives, that even though we do not see Him now, we believe in Him, and rejoice greatly. Just like Mike in his sermon didn't focus so much on the suffering as the joy God gave, so I didn't want my focal point to be the doubts so much as their being melted away in the presence of the surpassing joy of Christ! That's what gets me excited! And that's why that section of the song sounds so much more lively, and has that old folky jamboree feel that I go back to a lot, because that's the section that I identify with now. Sure, there are always times when I doubt. There are always times when I think "Is any of this real?" But those are always times when God Himself says "Yes, and look at all I've given you... Now rejoice greatly!" And so I do. And so for the most part this album has been, rejoicing in the face of trials, doubts, unbelief, difficulties, and every which way life turns. The goal is always that the genuineness of my "faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ." I hope that's your aim as well.
YouTube Version: Jason and I, before he went back to Kentucky, were able to record the song "live" in the living room, and put it into a very classy and sophisticated video, seen here:
Recorded Version: Honestly, this song turned out the best on the album, and, as a side note, you can now buy the album online at this link.
http://northsidejamboree.bandcamp.com/album/doubts-turned-to-joy
You can also hear it for free on Soundcloud here.
https://soundcloud.com/justin-samuel-manry/a-doubters-confession
Conclusion: So this will probably be the last song explanation from this album, and I hope you got a sense of what it's all about, and that it's not full of heresy or meant to discourage anyone. Just trying to be real, make a few points, and encourage you to rejoice in the midst of trials and doubts. Tell me what song you'd like me to explain next, keep on keepin' on, and I'll have a funny blog out at some point soon I hope. It's been kind of busy with all the seminary stuff I've been up to. Best wishes and all that jazz! Peace out, songwriters...
Singing off for now,
Justin Samuel Manry
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| The Tiger Slippers were actually quite comfortable... |
